Hello world. I am a Mormon young man who is attracted to other men.
Wow. I can’t believe I finally said that.
Whether I am gay, suffer from same sex attraction or am a MoHo (as I have come to learn is the going term these days) all I know is that I have been silently screaming for over half of my life now. And I am weary from the constant battle.
If you knew me (and some of you might), you would never know. I have tried to be an open minded, optimistic person, looking for the good in everyone and every situation. I have gone on plenty of harmless dates with women, hoping one might spark a flame that would drown out my other leanings. But that has never happened.
So in the solitude of my own being, I have suppressed everything I feel and everything I am in order to reconcile myself and my religion, which has defined my entire life. I have been living in two completely different worlds simultaneously, and recently I have begun to feel that I may lose my mind and more in that private struggle.
In my mind, these two worlds can never meet, but maybe I am wrong. So I am here, opening up like never before, writing these details about myself in the hopes that instead of watching from the sidelines, I might be able to learn from you and contribute to the discussions that I have already benefited from.
I promise I will try to post regularly. Believe me, after holding everything in for so long there is a lot to talk about. I look forward to interacting with you and having invigorating discussions as I explore my moving horizons.