I need some advice.
Mentally, I am gearing up to tell my parents about my "struggle with same sex attraction." I phrase it that way because I believe that it would be the only way they could handle the news.
I'm heading home in the summer for a few days, and I feel a growing responsibility to share with them what my life has been like. (I'll write more about that and my family later, I promise.)
In preparation for their questions, many of which I do not have answers for, I am sure they will ask if I have ever talked to my bishop about it.
I never have. Should I?
I have not mentioned it up until now because I don't want the change in attitude I am sure would accompany such news. I am a solid member, trustworthy and responsible. The bishop is a good friend of mine and, I am inclined to believe, liberally minded.
But I am the same person I have always been, and I don't want the way people treat me to change.
One of my hesitations is that I don't want a negative mark on my church record. I don't want to open a pathway to disfellowship, even if it is just because of the way I feel. Right now I am not sure of what course I should take because I don't want to screw up my eternal salvation.
I have never consciously done anything "wrong." I am not a bad person. I have never talked to a bishop about anything personal besides temple recommend questions, and even then, most of those are yes and no questions.
I must admit that I am a very independent person. I have isolated myself and my emotions in an attempt to ignore the gnawing ache of my attraction. I hardly ever ask for help, so when I do, I have a genuine need.
What might a bishop counsel me to do, besides the obvious: pray, read the scriptures, etc.? I have already happened upon a church pamphlet on homosexuality that really didn't help.
I am also wary of organized support groups because of my aforementioned pride and independence. From the left (Affirmation) to the right (Evergreen), I don't want to be brainwashed. Plus, I don't think right now I could even show my face at a meeting.
So I need your guidance and knowledge based from experience. Should I tell my bishop?